Self-care is a buzzword that has been gaining a lot of traction. Our fast-paced and increasingly demanding world often takes a toll on our physical and mental health if we don’t take time for our personal self-care.
One of the most important – and often overlooked – aspects of self-care is learning to say no. We often feel like we have to say yes to everything and everyone, even when we don’t want to. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and burnt out.
The power of saying no is something we often overlook or don’t fully understand. Friends, family and co-workers often pressure us to say yes to their requests. We find ourselves acquiescing, when we really want to say no. This can be because of societal expectations, the need to please others, or the fear of missing out on potential opportunities. It’s easy to feel guilty and say yes, because we feel like saying no is wrong.
Saying no can be a liberating and empowering experience. It gives you the freedom to choose your own path and tailor it to your goals and interests. In addition, it can give you more time to focus on what brings you joy.
If you say no to an experience due to prior commitments or because it doesn’t mesh with your values, you are expressing a valid reason. Saying no, also shows that you are comfortable with setting boundaries, which is part of taking care of yourself.
The ability to say no gives you the opportunity to say yes to the things that matter. It allows you to spend time with the people and things you love, and gives you the chance to nurture and nourish your soul.
Here are three simple steps that can change your life:
First, choose one thing that you need to say no to. It could be a relationship with a family member, a friend or even saying no to your favorite dessert. Decide on the one thing you will choose. Ask yourself, what would happen if you began to say no? What if you said no to every person that asked you to take time away from the people you love and cherish. What if you said no to any new requests to donate your time and talent to a committee or to another commitment. If you were to look at your calendar, would you see items that you didn’t want to do? What about items that you WANT to do? To help you choose your no item, please grab some sticky notes. Begin by marking out days and hours on your calendar, for joy and fun. This process helps you to visually see how many days or hours a week you spend doing activities that bring you joy. Special moments that are just for you. And it will make it easier to start saying no to the activities that DON’T bring you joy and enhance your life.
Choose one thing you want to say YES to. If you’re like me, you have a long list of items and not enough time. So, start slow. Think of one thing you’d like to do and then gradually make sure that you’re adding new items daily, weekly and monthly to your yes list. Your list might include things like going back to school, taking a fun class, taking care of your body, spending time with your kids, date nights with your spouse, time with friends, reading and or writing great books, gardening, oil or water-color painting, manicures, pedicures, trips to Hawaii or the Bahamas. Say yes to the people, places and activities that enhance your life and bring your joy and love. Think of the next small step you will take to your future self. A self that takes great care of YOU.
Share the two things, the YES and the NO with someone who will enthusiastically support you. Tell your spouse, significant other, your friend, or your parent. Telling someone makes you accountable. Telling someone makes it real.
So, go ahead and explore the power of no – and the power of yes. It will lead to the practice of taking better care of yourself!
I’d love to hear from you. Please let me know the one thing you’re saying no to this month and the new yes – and I’m curious, did saying No open the door to saying Yes to something you love or enhances your life?
One of my BIG self-care items this year was to publish my book, something that has been a buck-list item since I was a little girl. And It’s happening! My novel, “UnMasked” will be released on June 13, 2023 and is now available for pre-order on Amazon at: https://a.co/d/fCkRf8z
Here are the ways to connect with me:
Instagram @Julie.Cadman1
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And you can sign up for my newsletter to receive information and events and upcoming contests – on my author’s page at https://www.juliecadman.com/